stammerheadshark * blog about living with an acquired neurogenic stammer

Posts Tagged ‘friends

I’ve had a frenetic few days really, and not the time nor space to really make any sound decisions.

Often it feels as though life carries you along like a tide, while you drift further away from your destination without the control to bring yourself back on course.

After a fabulous family wedding back home and a zippy catchup with my sister and her children this weekend, we were back on the road winging our way back to ordinary life to churn out job applications and amended CVs for imposed deadlines.

It’s so odd that visiting home in Southport feels such worlds apart from our life in Leicester, but a relief in some respects that it’s a world we’re to return to imminently.

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Somehow, yesterday managed to be one of the most truly awful and awesome days imaginable. I’m still not entirely sure how. But I’m relieved, completely relieved that it’s over.

So I had my neurology appointment to get to, which was a mission in itself. I cowardly wimped out of tackling that bloomin’ big hill on my bike up to the hospital again and decided to get the bus instead.

Well, I didn’t realise until I was halfway there to the bus stop that I was going to have to tell the driver where I was going.  You just don’t think about these things, do you? I’m just so used to being able to do it without a second thought.

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Okay so I’m having to stay home until I’m no longer contagious with this damned swine flu – which inconveniently means that life has had to come to a standstill when I actually had a lot of plans for this week.

I’d had to cancel my appointment to the homeopath earlier this week (which I’d been waiting for as my head pains have come back),  cancelled an evening out with a couple of friends I hadn’t seen for over a year (very disappointed about this), and had to send apologies to a friend who’s getting married today (who I was incredibly excited about being able to see with her hair out and dressed in bright colours and shiny sequins instead of the black dress and hijab I’ve known her to wear everyday for the last five years).

As disappointing as all of this was, there was a sense of relief too – at the thought of not having to humiliate of myself in front of more people, at not having to see the pity on people’s faces or the sheer confusion as they try to make out what I’m trying to say.
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